On the Ocean…

I am crazy busy. In a once in a lifetime kind of way. So its spectacular, hard as hell, exhausting, complex, full of excitement, worry and love for what I am doing. And for the people who’ve made this happen and keep making it happen. I am blessed…

Conch Fisherman

I’m building a studio, been to Belize, shot some incredible interviews with amazing New Yorkers, and am having to grow up all the sudden. After 38 years of avoiding it AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, I hear snickers from certain friends who are dying with barely suppressed laughter. (Yah, you Scott, I hear you…yuck it up, funny man…). I’m rolling all my work into one company, centralized and organized. I have an awesome biz partner, someone who I am hoping will continue to rock my professional world. So far, he’s exceeded expectations and left me spinning with even more possibilities in communication and production.

Junior at The Belize Zoo

I’m becoming more hands off, which makes me dizzy at times, being a total creative control freak. But there is only one of me, and only so many hours in the day, so if I half ass a bunch of work, it will all suffer. I’m delegating, training, stealing late hours to focus and write. Its like editing or producing but with a lot more extras and drama, since there’s construction to manage too.

I am taking flight…its majestic and magical up here…

Peace and much love,
Melissa

Point your bow to the clouds and keep on til the morning star…

I’ve been hard at work on some amazing new projects, but in the meantime, to feed my soul, I scribbled these down:

We All Have A Little Envy In Us

she, confused
angry
unhinged
watches what she wants
walk away
her throat clenches
eyes water
teeth grit
shame and disappointment redden
her wet cheeks
she wants to run
until she forces breath
out of her stinging lungs
instead, she stands
sheds no tears
feels every motion and change a stab
new to her open wounds
and takes it all, again
as she has been destined to
again, and again
like a cushion for others’ falls
or a target for others’ practice arrows
because she CAN take it
she must
all the while, wondering
when she can rest
love
hope
dream
and drink from life
instead of being drained by it

MU 07/2008

The Impact Of A Kiss

Hard in my head
wait, breathe
don’t BREATHE
stay in orbit
don’t land just yet
stare, huff, look away
brush my hair
off one glowing cheek
the panic, overcome
by desire
“Land on me”
I plead in a whisper
and so you
kiss me…

MU 07/2008

Estrella @ 3

Glints and crinkles
giggles and sighs
a million points of brown
cinnamon constellations
between alabaster skies
expand like novas in the sun
water dazzles on curls
of jet and indigo
she turns to laugh
her stars of blue startling
before the next wave
pulls her focus away

MU 07/2008

Keep scribbling, fellow poets…even when life pulls you into the streams of un-consciousness…

Peace & Much Love,
Melissa

Why we are all here…

Peace & Much Love,
Melissa

The TOTP performance circa 1977

A discussion of the song, decades later

I remember my sister and I begging my brother to play “The Killing of Georgie” over and over.  Little girls with big hearts, we would sing this at the top of our lungs and cry over the last lines - “Oh Georgie’s dead - don’t go away - Georgie is dead - you take our breath away!”.

I was 8, she was 6, and combined we made our 14 yr old brother play the song over and over.  It captivated us, told us a story, made us wail for Georgie and Rod and all the sad people all over the world, missing a friend.  We would keep after our brother to play it as much as possible, until he got too annoyed with our crying and singing.  As brothers go, he was not the most patient or tolerant.  But he did recognize great songs, and “The Killing of Georgie” is a classic.

In the discussion of the piece, one interviewee said the song is dated.  I disagree.  I spend a lot time with young gay dancers, as part of my photography gigs in clubs.  These young men are my friends, dance partners, models and co-conspirators in art.  I hear stories all the time of fathers who can’t accept their sons, mothers who stand in the middle holding on hard to both husband and child, sons who are still coming out and facing who they are in a world where gay bashing still happens regularly.  PFLAG, people!

I’m bisexual, out and very happy with my life.  Granted, I mostly date men these days, but my sexual identity is more than a hobby - its a political statement, that in some places could put me in great danger.  And while I can straddle both gay and straight worlds, it does not armor me from the hateful words I hear daily about homosexuality.  I do speak out, but not all minds and ears are open to hearing a different perspective.   I know the wrong word to the wrong person could get me in trouble, but that can’t keep me silent.

I hold this space for my friends, bash back when needed, cheer loudly when its needed, and feel compassion for those who still find alternative sexual identities dangerous.   We are such lovely, brave people, full of a desire to love and be loved, and yet we cause fear - a deep, primal fear in some cases.

From Georgie to Brandon Teena,  to lawmaker Sally Kern in Oklahoma, who describes gays as “a bigger threat to American than terrorism”, (read her op ed letter to explain this and TRY not to get mad) , equality and safety STILL do not exist for the GLBT community.

Are we that scary that we fit in the same category as a terrorist?  You mean loving and being loved is terrorism?  Think on it…

Peace,
Melissa

Happy V Day!  Every day can be a loving, lovely love filled day if we choose it.

In little or large amounts, love is precious.  Savor what comes your way today and every day!

Peace and much love,
Melissa

THE conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.

We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society.

Our invisible governors are, in many cases, unaware of the identity of their fellow members in the inner cabinet.

“Propaganda” Edward Bernays

Anonymous is Legion. Incredibly well done. I believe certain clam diggers should be worried, cause wow, this is M worthy, this is 1984 and Manchurian Candidate. This is Guy Fawkes calling you out, Scientology. I believe it will soon be 3 pm on the school yard and you’re gonna get a whooping.

Even if it takes a long time, Anonymous certainly threw down the gauntlet and made statements of sincere and deep conviction. Scientology IS a cult. Why is everyone so afraid to say it? Legal documents worldwide have proven this since 1977, and for chrissakes, this is all based on a bet!

Yes, that’s right, L Ron made a bet with a fellow science fiction writer that he could start a religion. One that believes humans evolved from clams cause we both have a hinge on our jaw (bwahahaha) and believes we are all possessed by 30,000 Thetans (aka alien souls). And I thought the stigmata was a stretch!

The internet is abuzz with people saying this is real, a fake, watch for Feb 10, etc.  I think its fascinating and well targeted video campaign.  Even if its not real, its definitely been effective!

This organization understands Bernays so well. But keep watch - Scientology is only a clumsy, semi-retarded scam. The real threat is those who will use our fears to keep us uneducated, in our homes isolated, poor and silent. In this election year, keep an open mind while listening, but look for the holes in those well crafted media images.

Peace,
Melissa

We are each of us angels with one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other.
- Liciano de Crescenzo

Love of all levels comes naturally to very young children - they laugh, smile, fully express awe and wonder at the world around them. Kids will eagerly embrace any person who comes close enough, touching and grabbing in an exploratory way that reminds us what safe touch is like. When a child brushes your cheek gently (or not so gently), you tend to feel grace in that little moment.

Children love everything, and to them love is a never ending well of delight, always available, never conditional. They can love to different degrees people, pets, food, colors, etc. Love is not exclusive, limited, held back for something proper or better.

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.
- Morrie Schwartz

As adults, we lose this - the ability to love and touch different people. Love is reserved for family, for lovers, for spouses. Touch is discouraged in public. Love is limited by Hallmark Card defined days where expression is pre-packaged, and affection is something you express only in private. (more…)

Oh so very very true…

Love is elemental, necessary, important even, but art, oh my god.  Art is like that crazy boyfriend - hot, then cold, volatile, withholding, abundant, bitchy even.  As much as he drove you nuts, you craved, needed, lusted for him.

Art mirrors sexuality - first we start tentatively, gingerly attempting what we long for but aren’t sure how to do.  Then we get a taste - oooh, such a sweet sting - and we go crazy for it.  There is nothing we won’t do to feed that bitch of a master.  We cajole, we sink into oblivion, we beg, we even abandon.

Art tends to sit on the edge of your mind, pushing up on the top of your heart, squeezing out all vision so the tunnel only holds one single thought - create.  Make.  Do.  Be.  Express.  Expand. And love me…

The muses are often amused at the machinations of humans to create.  One must simply get out of one’s own way, and listen.  Your art, your passion - it’s yours, and yet its not.  It’s connected to the universal mind, the higher consciousness that runs like electricity through us all.  You must trust, let go, express, shut the editor off and be.  Dive in.

I am both muse and maker.  Eventually, the artist understands that they themselves are a complex work of art.  For that is the true lesson - not the things created but the process of creation itself, by a human being, aided by the divine.

In Buddhism, one of the paths to Divine Grace is Detachment:

“Eventually we detach from any expected outcome of our activities.  This is called detached attachment.  It seems paradoxical, but in this form of detachment, the activity itself is the important thing.  Being in the moment is the only item of importance.  Concentration is so complete that any thought of a goal involving the activity becomes absorbed in the process of doing the activity itself.”
- Thomas Ashley-Farrand

So losing yourself in the work is actually finding yourself.  You embody your purpose, your passion, and add to the multiplicity of voices that create from genuine experience.

I embrace and flourish on my path these days.  Art is a good and honorable master, once you give over to it.

Peace,
Melissa

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
- Harold R. McAlindon

My life has been a study in blazing. Sometimes I scorch as I blaze. Sometimes I barely glow, dimmed and alone and wondering where the darkness is leading. The way before me has never been set or solid, lit or leisurely. Hard work, harder times, hardening heart against the anger that comes from all sides for not being a polite cog in the machine.

And then its clear, the tiny voice in my heart, led by love, courage and determination, to do what is right and good. I hold on to that at times, when I get knocked off kilter, or when the opportunity to gain advantage in an improper way presents itself seductively. The fear that comes out as hate towards me can be deafening, but for that one tiny light of love. I spread, I embrace, I tackle and confront.

This little light of mine sure does know how to shine. Bonfire bright and supernova explosive, it can outsize me and burn off the worry, the fear and the frustration. To hold, alone, to what I need to be and believe, despite a whirlwind of spin and media madness, is both a blessing and a curse. I have not chosen to be talented, to be driven, to be wholly who I must, but there is no other choice. Crazy is the term applied sometimes, even by myself. The mad and majestic share the same kind of perception - crazy enough to see a vision and determined enough to seek it out.

I’m a catalyst, a maverick, a troublemaker. I know it, and while for the longest time it vexed me, I grew to love what I am, for my role is necessary, especially in these times of mass media zombification. I’m the bug in your ear, the pebble in your shoe, the sun bright and blazing in your eye. Sometimes whisper soft, most times hammer hard, I make change happen around me, often not even of my own will, but in reaction to who and what I am.

And when I shine, the universe blessed me fireworks and bombs bursting in air. I draw light in darkness, an alchemist of art. I am blessed and grateful, for both the bitter and the sweet, and more for the other fires I can light in and under others.

Peace,
Melissa

Gratitude 12 2 2007 - M. Ulto

Grateful…

I am grateful
Grated, crushed, reborn
Full of light, love, purpose
Struggle has polished me
Not diamond hard but
Soft like old jeans
Sweet smelling and lovely
Deep as down
Lightly substantial
Loosely connected
To all things, I’m understood

I am peaceful
Though storms tore me
Lies rend me still
Hate has been bile
Expelled by the Universe’s hand
Thumping my back
Each whack a lesson
Each cough a crime undone
Each tear forgiving forever
Wings brushed my wet brow
And blessed me whole

I am abundant
With dreams and visions
Comrades and friends
Who remind me when silence falls
That I am never alone
Money has no hold
Give me a mansion
And I will fill it with orphans
Give me a diamond
And I will sell it back
To fund truth and beauty

I am free!
I can sing, I can speak, I can dance
I can say things many want unsaid
I can feast on fruit
And wheat bread
And be sated by the blessing
Of my love, my art, my soul
Of course I’m crazy to many
Who cling to old things
And strive for old ways
And choke on words not their own

I am
I am the I am
I be, I see, I live, I love
Nothing holds me
For it all belongs
Sometimes for moment
All time for eternity
And in between
There is the music of voices rising
Eyes opening wide
And this world alive in me anew

Peace,
Melissa

So I took a test on Facebook today. Yah, I know…online tests are bunk. But I found it pretty interesting, and um, well…rather accurate…hahaha…read on, intrepid visitor…

The Playstation
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSM)

Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.

You’re a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It’s therefore highly likely that you’re attractive, and you’re certainly outgoing & friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you.

You don’t get attached too easily, and, to wit, you’re not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That’s a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you’re open to anything, you’re keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won’t be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.

In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don’t need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can’t think of anything about you we’d change. Keep on fucking, partner.

*****

Well put. You dudes on are notice - I like the physical, but you gotta earn access to the emotional. In the meantime, let’s have lots of fun.

Game on,
Melissa

Anthony, Wendell and some buddies hugging it out

There is not a single true work of art that has not in the end added to the inner freedom of each person who has known and loved it.
-Albert Camus 

This weekend, the Church of Smile descended on Union Square and gave free hugs and candy.  The Church is not a religious organization, but a collection of good friends who believe in social change, one person at a time.  Started by Anthony D’Onofrio in Arkansas, the Church gathers in public and literally just gives out hugs and candy to ANYONE who wants them.  Often, Anthony gets people to take a hug when they have been hesitant.

Saturday in Union Square was a experiment in social research, to say the least.  The younger a person was, the more open to getting a hug they were.  Gender at times could have been an issue, but Anthony and Wendell are such naturally warm, welcoming people, and they radiated a nice, safe charm.

Being the only woman for a while, I got approached by some men looking for my number.  That definitely was not the point of the day.  Hahaha…  But a hug, a big smile and some candy sent them off happily.

Touching in a non-invasive, no strings attached way is something we need more of.  I could feel the longing for touch and the way it moved some people.  One girl definitely was happy we hugged her, as she seemed like she wasn’t having a good day.  Haven’t you ever just wanted someone to hug you, for no reason, just because you are you and that’s wonderful enough?

The Church of Smile headed back to Arkansas…but I’m sure it will be back very soon.

Peace,
Melissa

Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm… an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction.
-Saul Bellow

I had an interesting weekend.  Lots of art, lots of struggle, lots of seeking that silence to create, despite the noise of struggle. Art is prayer and play, meditation and mess, distraction and definition.

Downtown, on Kenmare, near a friend’s house, is an installation of plexi circles linked together over a dome.  Above is the view from underneath - a lovely fractured image.

Here’s the view from outside - like foam invading the city.

Later in the day, I saw bubble guns on Broadway, smaller versions of the sculpture in Petrosino Park.

So much good work to do, so much art to create.  But sometimes in wandering around, art happens upon you and you are forced to pause, breathe deep and enjoy the tiny moments of peace.

Peace,
Melissa

We are reconfiguring our view of modern life, and that means re-framing how we look at ourselves and our impact on our environment - both the physical and metaphysical. Part of that re-framing is looking at the underlying conflicts in our lifestyles and how we are triggered on them, to the point of mass distraction. From food to porn, drugs to debt management, email to cell phones, we are distracted by a myriad of modern encumbrances that serve to keep us unfocused, our lives fractured by our minor obsessions.

As a country, we have been developing exponentially, and have been adding new elements to the process of industry building without consideration. Now, due to a combination of global warming, the internet and mass confirmation of the middle and lower classes worldwide that those running the show have made many inhumane mistakes, we are starting to understand how we can thrive collectively. Perhaps it took the horrors of war and poverty, of melting ice caps and dying bees, to wake us all the fuck up and slow us down finally.

The polarity of any cycle is the tension of the opposing poles - when one is too dominant, they flip, or snap back, or implode, to form again, in balance. Much industry has been created haphazardly, making it up as the industrialists went along. The way we eat, the way we work, the way we dress and the way we relax have all been dictated by industry, without anyone really sitting down and taking a longterm view of methods and practices. Now we are feeling the impact of that lack of mindfulness, the rush to compete and conquer, to be first and best and wealthiest. To have power.

The methods of progress have been to maintain an aggressive stance in order to control and use nature, man and ideas, without forethought or consideration of the potential impact. That stance can no longer hold back the tide of consequences from our collective choices. Nor can it hold back the multiplicity of voices that now make up the conversation - where race, class and gender no longer bar a more complex view of our world. And technology has helped us question, test, measure, discuss, and confirm the results of an aggressive stance, all which now have collectively allowed us to reconsider modern life as it currently exists.

So here we are, 2007, and we are finally waking up. One person at a time, then groups, then nations. Much good work is already in progress - Worldchanging.com, GOOD Magazine, NYC’s commitment to going greener, ethical fashion and embracing veganism. We are evolving, but finally, and foremost, we must mindfully chart our course and make a plan.

Plan2Evolve.tv is shooting content and developing a broadcast site for continued conversations on the reconfiguration of modern life. More great stuff coming, so keep waking up, keep paying attention and trust that polarity always requires re-balancing.

Peace,
Melissa

Warner Brothers Boycott

According to Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood Daily, Warner Brothers president Jeff Robinov is no longer interested in seeing any scripts with a female in the lead. Nikki’s sources are several insider producers, who relayed to her “the official policy as expressly articulated by Robinov is that a male has to be the lead of every pic made. I’m told he doesn’t even want to see a script with a woman in the primary position (which now is apparently missionary at WB).”

This supposedly is a knee jerk reaction by Robinov to the weak box office showing of The Brave One and The Invasion. But in review of the films with female leads put out by Warner Brothers in the last few years, there few to none. Lots of damsels in distress - Lady In The Water, Gothika, The Fountain. From 2000 to 2006, the list of films that have solely strong female leads are 2 - Catwoman, Charlotte Gray. That’s literally shameful.

It is clearly time for a female headed production studio. Our stories are not being considered, or being told mindfully and with respect. Studios focus on the biggest bang for their buck, going for the lowest common traits in us all. Instead, studios should be looking at the multiplicity of voices across the globe, male and female, and allow for artists to make smaller films that celebrate the diversity of talent and content available. Smaller productions, with better quality and mindful of its impact on our collective voice, will in the long run, be much more profitable than these huge gambles on massive features that do not uplift or engage the viewer in a meaningful way. Mass media’s goal should not be the homogenization of thought or art, and in pursuing this vigorously, they have succeeded in putting their own heads fully up their own asses, otherwise known as box office disasters.

Gloria Alred, when reached by Nikki for comment, released this statement:

“If that’s what he said, when movies with men as the lead fail, no one says we’ll stop making movies with men in the lead. This is an insult to all moviegoers and particularly women. It is truly unfortunate that women get blamed for decisions which are made by men. Instead of taking responsibility for their own lack of judgment about which scripts to make, directors to hire and budgets to OK, some men in the movie industry find it easier to place blame for their lack of success on women leads and to exclude talented female actors from the top employment opportunities in Hollywood in favor of macho males. If that studio confirms that their policy is to now exclude women as leads, then my policy would be to boycott films made by Warner Bros.”

Keep watch on SheStory.tv to monitor the boycott of Warner Brothers and any production company that works with them. Thanks to IMDB, keeping up-to-date on who is working with WB won’t be too hard.

Peace,
Melissa

I edited this piece when my niece was born two years today!  Happy birthday, Jackie!

Love,
Auntie M

 

 Welcome Jackie! [1:50m]: Play Now | Download (302)

Click to view the whole image

More digital design - actually, this was on my hard drive for a few months and I just happened across it.  Its rather good.

Peace,
Melissa

I shot this a few years ago at the Ramones Beat on Cancer Benefit. Just listen to the scream!

Rock and Roll,
Melissa

 

 Alan Vega - I Remember You [0:24m]: Play Now | Download (294)

Woof Wan-Bau’s “Watermelon Love”

As a vegan, I love watermelon. I loved watermelon since I was a little girl, but now I can eat it endlessly and with utter abandon.  “Watermelon Love” by Woof Wan-Bau illustrates this sweet fruit so well, with a seductive and giggly main character I find very cute.

Yummy, sweet, juicy and red.  What’s not to love?

Peace,
Melissa

Food Is The Cure

The Wager is over. I’m 12 pounds lighter, a pants and cup size smaller, and my body chemistry has been drastically altered.

Eat To Live is a fantastic guide to going vegan. I followed it carefully over the past six weeks, and read it from end to end. The results were just as Dr. Joel Fuhrman claimed - my taste buds changed, my skin looks brighter, and my body feels healthier and stronger. I actually crave fruits and veggies.

Cutting dairy out of my diet was the most drastic change. My mood swings around PMS have evened out or are gone completely. I tried a piece of cheese after the wager was over, as well as some chocolate, and both left me feeling blah. Immediately. So there is no question in my mind food follows function.

I’ve been a committed vegetarian for years, so the switch to veganism is a little harder but definitely easier on my body. I’m hoping to do a documentary with Dr. Fuhrman on his incredible diet plan and its healthy effects on everyone from diabetics to those fighting heart disease.

Vegan for Life - more than one meaning, many benefits!

Peace,
Melissa

Daddie’s Shakti Flower  - M. Ulto 2007 (click for full sized image)

I am Daddie’s Shakti Flower

I am his moon and his stars

and his stain unclaimed

when the riddle unravels

first on my skin in freckled code

later in DNA stripped bare

petri me attached and new

Daddies are plenty

Fathers are rare

I in faith renew

my search for you.

- M. Ulto, August 2007

This poem and digital art came together fast, as I have started anew my search for my father.  I had given up, but stories have been coming at me fierce and fast since June.  I’ve been inspired by stories of people finding their fathers, their siblings, their family afar and once lost.  I know there is almost nothing to go on but faith.  I know I may never find him, but I can’t stop looking.  I took a rest, for a long while, and set aside my daydreams and expectations.  I no longer expect a hero, but simply a man who, with my mother, gave me life.  Gratitude mixes with anger and abandonment fears, each time I think of this man looking down at me as a baby.  Perhaps he never did, but a feeling I have says his eyes once looked into mine and knew love.  What did he pass to me, what lessons in momentary glimpses did he share?  Are there anymore stories he can tell me?

There is more than the DNA strand holding us close, yet anonymous.  There is the possibility of knowingness, belonging and family.  There is hope that his heart is the noble model for my own.

I cry still, but not often, for the loss of something never attained.  Father, find me, as I search for you.  Let the questions finally be answered, and the holes filled in my story and yours.

Love in absentia,
Melissa

Healthy Food by MiraRuido

Today starts a six week wager with my friend Brad. I’ve been complaining about getting in shape and getting healthy for months now, since moving and general life chaos took me off point. But I haven’t done anything about it - I’ve just been sort of stuck. So Brad, who is an Eat For Life disciple, is forcing the point - a wager to follow his eating/exercise plan for the next six weeks. I must follow it to the letter, or, if I fail, I must build Brad a website completely free, bitch-free, and LIKE IT.

I get my health back out of this deal. I’m not thrilled with my weight, but its my health that concerns me. I’m tired and cranky, and reach for chocolate too easy. For a vegetarian, I haven’t been eating my veggies lately. I prefer pizza and burritos. Covered in melted cheese. Mmmmmmmmm… (more…)

Rock and Roll Love Search - M. Ulto 2007

Yah, dating…um…yah…

What can I say? Its never easy for anyone. And I have less patience and time to spare than most. I skim deep dialectics in minutes, absorbing and comprehending meaning instantly. Yet men - can’t read them or figure them out at ALL!

What I take as a poker face I realize is most men’s standard stare. I have a bad habit of forcing a response, usually through lame jokes, provocative statements or a lean little too far over for a confusing glance at my rack. Yah, that one is real handy. Works when nothing else moves them. Yet that stare, while incredibly familiar to me, is also most times uncomfortable. Its forcing the power into my hands instead of sharing. I only share when I trust. Then I can let someone else be the boss, in most ways.

I know what I want. I’m picky. Most New Yorkers are. Its the water. Bottled and expensive.

So I’m gonna write it down. Listen to some LOVE inducing music and formulate it clearly here. It will be my online order to the universe. Let’s see how well its fulfilled. Busta’s linked below for a listen while reading… (more…)

 

 Baby If You Give It To Me - Busta Rhymes [5:24m]: Play Now | Download (910)

The beauty industry sees all photography subjects as raw clay to be molded. Even beautiful young women who are already amazing to look at.

So don’t be discouraged, ladies, when the image on the magazine makes you feel just not quite so. That feeling comes from recognizing you are not looking a human, but an edited version of a human, that is not quite so, viscerally.

You are absolutely, genuinely, adorably and honestly quite so, quite imperfectly you.

Peace,
Melissa

I created two versions of a Mandala video art experiment.  One is the entire color spectrum, the other is created of hues of love - pink, gold and white.  Still wondering which version is more interesting.

Let me know what YOU think.  Bonus points if you can identify the song used to animate the Mandalas by.

Peace,
Melissa

 

 Rainbow Mandala FULL [0:40m]: Play Now | Download (419)

 

 Rainbow Mandala P/Y/W [0:40m]: Play Now | Download (279)

ICE T @ Hip Hop Odyssey Festival Awards - M. Ulto

Last night, I went to the Hip Hip Odyssey Awards with my collaborators on “The Art of Love & Struggle” - Director Jessica Habie, Performer/Writer Bobbi Williams and Composer Spiritchild.

It was where Hip Hop lives - the real culture, not the parody of it in mainstream media. This was a community event, celebrating those who came before, those who step up now and those who will take the torch of Hip Hop into the future. From celebrating Cold Crush Crew to Lady Pink, it was a lesson in the roots of the culture, the struggle to make art viable, and a reminder that message is still very powerful.

Listening to Ice T accept his award, as an outstanding Hip Hop Actor, reminded me of a few things, shifting my perspective and hearing the echo of struggle in his speech. Here was a man orphaned at 11, left to fend for himself on the streets. As he put it, if you had a sister, a cousin, a distant relative, you had an advantage over him. He hustled, he strove, he adapted when opportunities came to him, and he followed one voice - his own. He reminded me that the hustle is not about the product but the process - anything can be accomplished, it’s the mastering of methods that’s the first step. (more…)

 

 No Daddy - Teairra Mari [3:51m]: Play Now | Download (961)

Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.
Marcus Aurelius

Meditation lately has yielded a vibrant connection to the universe. My mandala art reflects this inner bubbling up of joy. Prayer is more dialogue than passive smoothing out of mind. I lean on it, comfortably. (more…)

Shooting with Christi Smith from PFF Entertainment

Last night I shot a couple of interviews for the next edition of SheStory.tv - the theme being passionate persistence. Christi Smith, from PFF Entertainment, lives, works and partners with her passions. She started her business around a board game she created, PervArtistry, a charades/pictionary type game, with a delightfully naughty twist. She and her fiance/business partner, Ted Scofield, have expanded to t-shirts, events and a book is in the works! We also shot with Carla Hall, an incredible singer, who has found an outlet for her work surprisingly during her day job in banking.

I also watched Alan Berliner’s documentary, Wide Awake, about insomnia and the artist. It was masterfully done, well edited, showing with the flurries of images, sounds and thought loops the chaos that plagues the artist’s mind. So much of it echoed my own experiences with sleep and work. The late night hours, the racing mind, the intense focus the later it gets, the siesta…all things I wrestle with. Thomas Edison, Teddy Roosevelt, Marlene Dietrich, Franz Kafka, Margaret Thatcher, Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, Winston Churchill, Charles Dickens, Catherine the Great…all insomniacs. It was interesting how having a child changed his perspective on sleep, but overall, didn’t change much. Perhaps a sequel, following the clock resetting? Ah, but then, Alan might be sleeping when he’d otherwise be editing!

Peace,
Melissa

Take full account of what excellencies which you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.
Marcus Aurelius Antonius

What keeps an artist going is the joy at being able to express with great faculty their thoughts. To create tangible expressions of their inner world is a great gift. Who does not long to tell, in a meaningful way, their story to some degree, and have it understood, even appreciated?

I turned a year older a few days ago. Funny, I still feel 17 - a little amazed at myself and my circumstances, a little frustrated, hormonal, goofy, stubborn, impetuous, at times awkward, at times brilliant grace. Glittering with possibility still - ever changing, growing, exploring, creating.

I don’t look older, meaning my chassis must have been built right. Good genes, no drinking, being a vegetarian. I need to balance work and play better, as I’m a total workaholic. But then when you get to play with the tools and ideas I do, why would you want to sleep? (more…)

Since doing this On The Lot thing, I’ve been pondering the films that had the most effect on me.  Steven Spielberg is a prolific filmmaker, but one of his first, JAWS, really sucker punched my imagination awake.

I love Spielberg’s films - from Saving Private Ryan to Close Encounters of The Third Kind - so many movies of visual brilliance and great content. But I have to say, Mr. Spielberg, you ruined the water for me.

I was a mere 5 years old when JAWS came out, in 1975. Remember the TV ad where there was just lot of black water and the “duh-dum” theme? Then at the last minute the shark jumped out? OH MY GOD…I was literally sitting inches away from the screen - as little kids did in those days - and nearly wet my pants. From that moment on, anything resembling a shark sent me into a tizzy. Forget about learning how to swim - the blue of the pool reminded me of sharks, and the fact that I couldn’t see 360 degrees around me in the water, along with the panic response of not being able to breathe - well, no hope was had for me becoming an Olympic swimmer. Or even a floater. Hahahaha… (more…)

Gama Rama Fun Fest

The arts must be considered an essential element of education. They are tools for living life reflectively, joyfully and with the ability to shape the future.
Shirley Trusty Corey

I am blessed. Last year, 2006, was a litany of lessons and challenges, aligning my intentions, skills, talents and passions. And returning to an understanding of love - for my world, my family and myself. All the kinks were knocked out, reminding me again and again that I am here to serve, to share, to love, and bring the best of myself to every situation. I also learned to have a huge amount of confidence in my skills and abilities, which was a gift that was worth every tear, every heartbreak, every false start. (more…)

“And I have put my words in your mouth, and I have covered you in the shadow of my hand, that I may plant heavens, and lay the foundations of earth, and say to Zion, You are my people” (Yeshayah 51:16)

I am grateful for a challenging, productive, complicated year. I have been pushed and pulled many different ways, and traveled many wonderful, albeit short, journeys. I’ve stretched and grown and hate what maturity has been foisted upon me, yet love my place in this world more every day.

I am reminded, during this time of joyful miracles, of my own series of personal miracles. I am grateful for them, though they have shocked me in and out of belief. Faith still there, but denial of the fantastic nature of my spirituality fought against its overwhelming pull. I was reminded of these incredible moments, the series of them, when speaking with a new friend over lunch.

When I was a baby, about a year old, I had spinal meningitis. I had a seizure in the emergency room (my brother was getting a cast for a broken arm). The doctors shaved my head, put an IV in my skull, drew a blood and spinal fluid, and basically told my mother I was not going to make it. My grandmother flew in from New York, took one look at the red hair shavings on my pillow, my dirty diaper and my general state of illness, and had a fit. A functional fit, Irish New Yorker style. She took me out of the hospital, had me baptized, and took me to a hotel room near by. My grandmother bathed me, fed me, rocked me and loved me well into the night, until a 6.6 magnitude earthquake hit the area. From the stories I remember, they were fine, and I was, in fact, fine. Well, even. A laughing, hungry baby girl again. (more…)

Philly Fountain - M. Ulto 2006

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. I