Today’s Rehearsal
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I lept today. I belted and whispered, my voice smokey and honeyed. Slinking around on a grand piano, I lived the rehearsal of a dream I had about a year ago where I was singing in red dress. That was my dream, my intention, and slowly, patiently, it is coming true. I ran, circled and finally stood still enough to find my strength. I am such a coward, but I still do the things that terrify me most. I am a burning kind of eager fearful of tomorrow’s dress rehearsal and performance. I am a gasping kind of scared.
I want this. I want it more than I’m willing to admit but I feel the swell of it, like the pangs of a crush, growing in me. In the root of me, I feel the want and the confidence warming to a more grounded state.
I’m propelling myself through this with as much grace as is possible, amid my giddy outbursts. I will fight my dual urges to bounce and giggle or bolt and hide. I must absorb the end result, if its shock, glee or applause. Oh man, I am so fidgety and electric right now. Squirmy, lip biting kind of restless.
Tomorrow night…
Peace,
Melissa
