Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Marcus Aurelius

I am learning the weight of connection, the responsibility of action, the flow of trust and movement in the world. I have become very aware of how the slightest piece of energy can create a strong influence in others. Positively, knowing a few minutes spent with my nephew has resulted in him knowing and loving how to add. A small amount of time, nothing to me, precious all the same, but whoa, influential in another’s life. Negatively, in how my anger flows and pushes and scares, and what I do with it. I provoke, I confront, I go for the jugular. There is no grace when I am pissed off and its ugly. I demand the truth, immediate justice and challenge the integrity and will of the other person. Basically, I’m a bitch, but the funny thing is I usually am not fully invested in the negative stuff I put out, I’m probably just causing shit, cause I’m scared or moody or just plain bored.

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Performed by Smokifantastic and Jerome James
Music video shot and edited by Melissa Ulto

 

 Smokifantastic Music Video [5:08m]: Play Now | Download (379)

I had a vision while meditating today. I was chanting to go beyond my limits and my ego, into the unknown of being. I usually see this as a dark tunnel that I am walking fast downhill into. Its a brick walkway, like the ones in Central Park. It expands into more darkness, until there’s nothing but darkness.

Today, I asked to go beyond my limits, and this vision was the result.

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If you can hold your listener, hold their attention, and you’re sure you know what you’re doing, and know that you’re communicating - You know, performance is communicating. You’ve got to communicate. You’ve got a song you’re singing from your gut, you want that audience to feel it in their gut.

Marcus Aurelius

Strawberry Winter cast on stage last night

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You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I lept today. I belted and whispered, my voice smokey and honeyed. Slinking around on a grand piano, I lived the rehearsal of a dream I had about a year ago where I was singing in red dress. That was my dream, my intention, and slowly, patiently, it is coming true. I ran, circled and finally stood still enough to find my strength. I am such a coward, but I still do the things that terrify me most. I am a burning kind of eager fearful of tomorrow’s dress rehearsal and performance. I am a gasping kind of scared.

I want this. I want it more than I’m willing to admit but I feel the swell of it, like the pangs of a crush, growing in me. In the root of me, I feel the want and the confidence warming to a more grounded state.

I’m propelling myself through this with as much grace as is possible, amid my giddy outbursts. I will fight my dual urges to bounce and giggle or bolt and hide. I must absorb the end result, if its shock, glee or applause. Oh man, I am so fidgety and electric right now. Squirmy, lip biting kind of restless.

Tomorrow night…

Peace,
Melissa

Honesty is the hallmark of the strong and self-confident. The successful person masters the art of honesty much as a swordsman masters fencing. When lies, delusions and game-playing are getting in the way of teamwork, a swift sword of honest action, perhaps even punishment, must be wielded to protect one’s integrity and values. Decisiveness with integrity at a time like this brings good fortune.

The I-Ching

I read the I-Ching from time to time, for its ancient wisdom. Today, the above was part of both my main throw and my changing lines. The whole reading was about decisive action, justice and cutting through negativity. It was powerful and clear - positive and decisive action needs to be taken in my life to counteract the negativity, being honest with myself most of all.

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An old Indian Grandfather said to his grandson who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice.

He continued…

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True freedom is where an individual’s thoughts and actions are in alignment with that which is true, correct, and of honor - no matter the personal price.

Bryant H. McGill

I find myself continually disappointed in people. Daily. What does one do with disappointment in a world where “I’m so busy” is an everyday excuse for disrespect? Time, in our hands, a man-made construct, is never in control of us. We take and use time, or are frazzled and scattered by the fear of losing time. We are masters of time or slaves to it.

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What would life be without art? Science prolongs life. To consist of what - eating, drinking, and sleeping? What is the good of living longer if it is only a matter of satisfying the requirements that sustain life? All this is nothing without the charm of art.

Sarah Bernhardt

Celebrate creativity today in all forms. Think not just of the fine art in museums, but of the everyday creativity that exists in all of us. My ex-husband used to say because he was a computer programmer, he wasn’t creative. He organized, arranged, composed and manipulated code like an artist works paint or clay. And he was more than good at it, he was excellent. Still, he wanted to be more “creative”, eyeing my work with longing. Now, with his new son, he’ll be able to explore new ways of being creative that have nothing to do with the outside world.

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I mentioned that along with cause for concern, there is reason for hope. As I stand here today, I am filled with optimism that America is on the eve of a golden age in which the vitality of our democracy will be re-established and will flourish more vibrantly than ever. Indeed I can feel it in this hall.

Al Gore, Quoting Martin Luther King in his speech today to The American Constitution Society and The Liberty Coalition

Gore came alive in his speech today. He spoke succinctly, directly, calling out Bush, both parties and the entire process of intelligence gathering in this century. Like a benevolent professor, he took the big picture and made it personal. He linked our history and gave us a perspective on how fear has crippled our historical tendency for truth and justice. He illustrated how fear has been used like a bludgeon, diminishing the checks and balances that keep the executive branch from becoming too powerful, too controlling.

Today, I found a politician to keep an eye on, to possibly believe in, a human being who understands ALL that is at stake - our rights, our freedom, our planet, our souls. If he can deliver, if he can be the leader he was today everyday, that is someone whose cause and leadership I would follow.

His full speech can be read here.

Peace,
Melissa

Click here to see the full size invitation.

Please join me on Sunday, January 22 at The Players Club for:

Strawberry Winter :: A Healing Performance

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Throw away holiness and wisdom,
and people will be a hundred times happier.
Throw away morality and justice,
and people will do the right thing.
Throw away industry and profit,
and there won’t be any thieves.

The Daily Tao

The wheels of commerce have replaced the natural rhythms of life. Industry has grown past boundaries of time, space, service to the community it springs from. It has become a cancer that is killing our world, one barrel of oil, one exhaust pipe and smoke stack at a time. What are we running towards, or from? What prize or escape do we collectively as a world emeshed in paramilitary capitalism subconsciously believe is at the end of this culmulative disaster that started in earnest with the Industrial Revolution?

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Empty your mind of all thoughts.
Let your heart be at peace.
Watch the turmoil of beings,
but contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe
returns to the common source.
Returning to the source is serenity.

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“I prefer to learn everything through music. If you want divinity, the music in every human being and their love for music is pretty much it. It’s the big indication of their spirituality and their ability to love and make love, or feel pain or joy, and really manifest it, really be real…you have an Eden immediately from the time you are born, but as you are conditioned by your caretakers and your surroundings, you may lose that original thing. Your task is to get back to it, to claim responsibility for your own perfection.”

Jeff Buckley, November 17, 1966 - May 29, 1997

There’s a swift sweetness that comes into the world and vanishes, only to shake up and make apparent what is out of balance, what is discarded, and why.

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